View this post on Instagram ???? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????? ???????? ???????????? As Breanna's mom and soon to be "Grammy" I wanted share some of my feelings on Breanna and my journey so far. When I think back to my pregnancies with my own children, I can't help to laugh in disbelief at how much I took for granted. Once the pregnancy test came back positive.. I knew I was having a baby. The months leading up to delivery were carefree. But the last 3 years have been a gut-wrenching exposure to what women struggling with infertility issues deal with daily and how often they hide the emotional despair and pain from others. Now each day is taken with gratitude as this journey moves onward and each day the hope continues to build. I have frequently had people ask me why I offered to carry Breanna and Aaron's baby, and I wish I could express something other than simple words to describe how I feel. The love of a mother holding her sick or injured child in her arms, she would do anything to make them feel better or take away the pain. The love of a mother feels the pain of their children when she can see sadness in their eyes instead of happiness. In the past few years, I saw my daughter's beautiful eyes begin to fill with despair and pain as her dreams of being a mother seemed to slowly slip away from her and I knew I could help if she wanted me to. I will never forget the devastating emotional pain I experienced when I was with Breanna and she was told she lost the twins. The memory of that event is a constant haunting reminder and overwhelming fear that I could lose this baby inside me. Each kick I feel is a welcome assurance that the baby is continuing to thrive and grow. I am thankful she is an active little one as when too much time goes by without me feeling her, the concerns start to creep back in. Every week that goes by and every day that we get closer to me bringing my daughters child into this world, helps me think of positive things ahead. Each day that passes, my heart is filled with joy when I see Breanna's eyes beginning to sparkle again and that is the light that keeps me going being a mother ♥ A post shared by Breanna Lockwood (@ivf.surrogacy.diary) on Jul 7, 2020 at 8:25am PDT
???? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????? ???????? ???????????? As Breanna's mom and soon to be "Grammy" I wanted share some of my feelings on Breanna and my journey so far. When I think back to my pregnancies with my own children, I can't help to laugh in disbelief at how much I took for granted. Once the pregnancy test came back positive.. I knew I was having a baby. The months leading up to delivery were carefree. But the last 3 years have been a gut-wrenching exposure to what women struggling with infertility issues deal with daily and how often they hide the emotional despair and pain from others. Now each day is taken with gratitude as this journey moves onward and each day the hope continues to build. I have frequently had people ask me why I offered to carry Breanna and Aaron's baby, and I wish I could express something other than simple words to describe how I feel. The love of a mother holding her sick or injured child in her arms, she would do anything to make them feel better or take away the pain. The love of a mother feels the pain of their children when she can see sadness in their eyes instead of happiness. In the past few years, I saw my daughter's beautiful eyes begin to fill with despair and pain as her dreams of being a mother seemed to slowly slip away from her and I knew I could help if she wanted me to. I will never forget the devastating emotional pain I experienced when I was with Breanna and she was told she lost the twins. The memory of that event is a constant haunting reminder and overwhelming fear that I could lose this baby inside me. Each kick I feel is a welcome assurance that the baby is continuing to thrive and grow. I am thankful she is an active little one as when too much time goes by without me feeling her, the concerns start to creep back in. Every week that goes by and every day that we get closer to me bringing my daughters child into this world, helps me think of positive things ahead. Each day that passes, my heart is filled with joy when I see Breanna's eyes beginning to sparkle again and that is the light that keeps me going being a mother ♥
A post shared by Breanna Lockwood (@ivf.surrogacy.diary) on Jul 7, 2020 at 8:25am PDT